My housemate was talking to a physician this morning (didn’t say why) and mentioned my snoring. The physician imitated the sound of sleep apnea, and it sounded (I’m told) exactly like a noise that I make.

She suggested I have my uvula removed. But, if memory serves, my old acquaintance H.J.N.C.Andruschak had that done and it did not affect his snoring.

Such an operation also would impair my (unrealized) ability to speak Arabic or Eskimo.

xearth is among my favorite toys. I set it to look down from the Moon; right now the Earth is completely black, which means the Moon is full.

Office lottery in ancient Athens.

In short, the lottery – and the great Iron Age pachinko machine that was its finest expression and most powerful tool – made the first democracy what it was. Together, the system and its technology enabled Athenians not just to recognize but to live what Aristotle, in his Politics, considered one of democracy’s defining principles: “ruling and being ruled in turn.”

Amendment XVII to the U.S.Constitution removed a bit of diversity – and thus a layer of sanity-checking – from the Federal legislature, by making both houses elected in the same way. If indirect election had to be replaced, better to replace it with something else entirely; lottery is the obvious choice.

I thought the “. . . Not!” construction was new when Wayne & Garth used it, but here it is in the mouth of Archie Goodwin:

“We know she didn’t kill her husband. Either you thought she had and probably still do, or you killed him yourself. If the former, your feeling for her has got a smudge. If the latter, you did a swell job, not, handling it so that she gets the credit for it.”

“Death of a Demon” by Rex Stout, published 1961 as part of Homicide Trinity.

I noticed something odd about my passport: it is dated June 1998, but the photograph must have been taken before April. (My hair was cut in September 1989, November 1994, April 1998 – when I stopped parting it – and January 2002.)

How long does it take to issue a US passport?

I can’t remember the last time, but they say one never forgets the first: When an opportunity for a trip to Spain suddenly arose in 1970, Mom took me to the passport office in Chicago. We turned in our paperwork and the clerk said, “Okay, come back in ten days.” “But we’re leaving on Tuesday!” “Oh! In that case, three and a half hours.”

All I seem to do in this blog is complain. I need a hobby. Or a job.
Well, here’s something positive: I’m listening to Dawganova by the David Grisman Quintet (1995), a playful acoustic album with a bit of bluegrass and a dollop of Brazil. (I hope that’s not too misleading. I enjoy a wide variety of music, from ABBA to Art of Noise to Baka Beyond, but lack the vocabulary to describe it.) I first heard them at a benefit in Mill Valley for (i think) Prop 215, and was promptly hooked. (Booker T & the MGs also played splendidly at the same event.)

A week or two ago I wrote to a friend in jail. Uncertain what resources might be available to him, I enclosed a stamped return envelope. The letter came back, marked “RETURN TO SENDER / UNAUTHORIZED MAIL”; it had been slit open and crudely closed with a little piece of tape, and contained a checklist which may be useful to any of you who may know a guest of the Solano County Sheriff’s Office.

This letter / item is being returned to you for the following reason(s):

• Photographs depicting gangs / weapons / unlawful activity/ sexually explicit. Limited to 5 photographs; no negatives, slides, Polaroid’s, sticker photos, frames or albums, nude or partially nude photos. Photo size limit 4″x7″.
• Books, soft-cover only, must be sent directly from the publisher / vendor.
• Newspapers and magazines must be purchased by subscription in the inmate’s name and must come directly from the publisher.
• No pens / pencils, envelopes (metered, plain or stamped) postage stamps or stationary.
• No cash / personal checks accepted. Money Orders must be legible and filled out completely.
• Inmate to inmate mail not approved by the Facility Commander. No Third party mail.
• Item cannot be searched without being destroyed.
• Item contains metal, wood, plastic, cloth, cardboard, paint, crayon, perfume, lipstick, stickers, glitter, tape, glue, power, liquid paper stains or unknown substances.
• Greeting Card size limit is 9″x12″.
• Limit of 5 (newspaper or magazines) clippings or photocopies.
• Packages must have prior approval of the Facility Commander.
• Drawings depicting gang weapons, sexually explicit and/or unlawful activity.
• No hair, maps, jewelry, catalogs, posters, lottery tickets, candy, trading cards, magnets, condoms, ID cards, stencils/tattoo patterns, date/address books or other ___________________________.

I copied the list as literally as I can, including the quaint msplngs; except that instead of bullets the list has ‘__’ (which I don’t know how to imitate in HTML). Note the hesitation between positive and negative in these commandments; pity the person who tries to obey them literally. It’s true that my letter contained “No hair,” etc, but is that really why it was returned?