A week or two ago I wrote to a friend in jail. Uncertain what resources might be available to him, I enclosed a stamped return envelope. The letter came back, marked “RETURN TO SENDER / UNAUTHORIZED MAIL”; it had been slit open and crudely closed with a little piece of tape, and contained a checklist which may be useful to any of you who may know a guest of the Solano County Sheriff’s Office.
This letter / item is being returned to you for the following reason(s):
- Photographs depicting gangs / weapons / unlawful activity/ sexually explicit. Limited to 5 photographs; no negatives, slides, Polaroid’s, sticker photos, frames or albums, nude or partially nude photos. Photo size limit 4″x7″.
- Books, soft-cover only, must be sent directly from the publisher / vendor.
- Newspapers and magazines must be purchased by subscription in the inmate’s name and must come directly from the publisher.
- No pens / pencils, envelopes (metered, plain or stamped) postage stamps or stationary.
- No cash / personal checks accepted. Money Orders must be legible and filled out completely.
- Inmate to inmate mail not approved by the Facility Commander. No Third party mail.
- Item cannot be searched without being destroyed.
- Item contains metal, wood, plastic, cloth, cardboard, paint, crayon, perfume, lipstick, stickers, glitter, tape, glue, power, liquid paper stains or unknown substances.
- Greeting Card size limit is 9″x12″.
- Limit of 5 (newspaper or magazines) clippings or photocopies.
- Packages must have prior approval of the Facility Commander.
- Drawings depicting gang weapons, sexually explicit and/or unlawful activity.
- No hair, maps, jewelry, catalogs, posters, lottery tickets, candy, trading cards, magnets, condoms, ID cards, stencils/tattoo patterns, date/address books or other ___________________________.
I copied the list as literally as I can, including the quaint msplngs; except that instead of bullets the list has ‘__’ (which I don’t know how to imitate in HTML). Note the hesitation between positive and negative in these commandments; pity the person who tries to obey them literally. It’s true that my letter contained “No hair,” etc, but is that really why it was returned?