Watched The Battle of the Five Armies. How many ways would the author be appalled?

Puppy-love between a canonical Dwarf and a non-canonical Elf. Their pheromones cannot be compatible.

There’s a Laketowner named Percy, a family name from France. (The other Laketowners at least have Nordic names, consistent with the author’s usage for Men and Dwarves of that region.)

The Orcs sneak up on Erebor using tunnels bored by non-canonical sandworms “were-worms”. Etymology time, since etymology was very much Tolkien’s thing: the first element of werewolf does not mean anything like ‘magical’ or ‘demonic’; it means ‘man’ (cognate to virile). Do these monstrous worms turn into men at other phases of the moon?

Would not a government prudently looking to the wellbeing of its people, like a prudent parent, encourage the people to learn to provide for themselves in its absence – i.e., encourage private provision of vital services – rather than risk sudden failure of those services in some political crisis?

Suppose your deck has more than four suits, or some number other than thirteen cards per suit. What happens to the ranks of poker hands?

              1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 3 3 3
    5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2

 4  F F F * B B B * O O O A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A 
 5  F F F F F F F B B B B B O O A A A A A A A A A A A D D D 
 6  F F F F F F F F F F F B B B B B B A A D D D D D D D D D 
 7  F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F B C C C C E E D D D D D D 
 8  F F F F F F F F F F F F F F G G G G G C C C C C E E E D 
 9  F F F F F F F F F F F F F G G G G G G G G G G C C C C E 
10  F F F F F F F F F F F F G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G 
11  F F F F F F F F F F F G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G
12  F F F F F F F F F F G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G
13  F F F F F F F F F F G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G
14  F F F F F F F F F G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G
15  F F F F F F F F F G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G
16  F F F F F F F F F G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G

O: the familiar case: straight flush > four of a kind > full house > flush > straight > three of a kind > two pair > one pair.
A: four > full house > straight > flush.
B: four > flush > full house > straight.
C: four > flush > straight > full house.
D: four > straight > full house > flush.
E: four > straight > flush > full house.
F: flush > four > full house > straight.
G: flush > four > straight > full house.
*: surprisingly only two cases where two of the scoring hands are equally rare: with four suits and twelve ranks, flush = full house; with four suits and eight ranks, flush = four.

In my county there’s a village named Van —–. I think that if my name had a Van or equivalent, and someone proposed to name a town for me, I’d prefer they drop the particle.

On another hand, Jan van Steenbergen has said he finds it odd to be referred to as “Steenbergen”.

An old book on place-names mentions a patch of London that has (or had) a street for every word of the former owner’s peerage title(s), including Of Alley.

(Websearch for “Couver” turns up only the French verb.)