temptation

A spam this morning from someone who wants to “invest” in my website and improve its search-rank; apparently he believes I’m selling something. I’m way tempted to call the 877 number and string them along, seeing how long it takes them to figure out that my only website is personal.

And then I think, could that itself be an advertising tactic?

  1. Send a pitch clearly inapplicable to most recipients, tempting me to telephone and waste your time;
  2. Wait for me to call, and then once I’m on the line,
  3. ???
  4. Profit!!
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yo-yo

Comcast’s DNS has been flaky of late, making me wonder: why doesn’t the browser cache IP addresses?

Posted in neep-neep | 1 Comment

a first time for everything

Date: 13 Apr 2005 15:37:12 -0000
To: bronto@pobox.com
Subject: QUERIDO MIO
From: JAMES UDO INIEKPO

Estimado Sr.

Les saludos, soy JAMES UDO INIEKPO un director con el departamento de los recursos del petróleo y de la secretaria del agrupacion de revisión de contrato (CRP) de los Corporacion National Nigeriana de Petroleo (NNPC).

. . .

Posted in language, spam | Leave a comment

black with white stripes

Thoughts on my way to sleep:

Strong marijuana often smells of mercaptan. Do unscrupulous pot-farmers encourage skunks to spray near their patch?

The smell of a distant skunk can be pleasant; has anyone tried using mercaptan (much diluted!) as a seasoning?

And finally, did Walt Kelly create Miss Mamzelle Hepzibah in response to Pépé le Pew?

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selective violence

After cataloguing the Brady Campaign’s calls for measures that (even if ideally implemented) would have done nothing to reduce the body count in Red Lake, “Lady Liberty” observes:

You see, there’s another fact we’re hearing very little about. Security guards, it seems, are politically correct, but armed security guards are not. And so an unarmed man bravely — and futilely — tried to stop someone who quite literally outgunned him. There are those who consider him heroic, but that’s likely scant comfort to his family. Even less comforting is the notion that if he had had a weapon of his own, he would very probably have been able to end the incident right there at the school door. It wouldn’t have been a happy day. The accused shooter, his grandfather, and his grandfather’s girlfriend would probably still be dead. But a teacher and five students would be alive and breathing today to thank that heroic security guard, who would in turn still be alive to brush off their thanks and say that shucks, he was only doing his job.

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upload induction

Previously muttered:

I often ponder what life might be like among Uploads: human minds which have been scanned into machines, leaving the flesh behind and spending most of their time in simulated worlds. . . .

Lately I’ve pondered the plight of persons uploaded unexpectedly, such as corpsicles who were frozen vitrified before uploading became possible. (For purposes of the scenario, I assume it’s easier to scan and simulate a frozen brain than to revive the cryonaut in the flesh.) What should they experience when they wake up?

Scenario A. You wake alone and nude in a sunny little room with no furniture other than the bed and a big mirror. Out the windows you see blue sky, with clouds, in all directions. An open doorway leads to a wardrobe with garments of every description. Once dressed, there’s nothing to do but go through the next door, down some stairs into a larger room where people wait to greet you. A technician briefly explains what has happened to you, and several of your friends lead you on a tour of the new multiverse.

Scenario B. You wake in a hospital bed; a couple of white-coats verify that you can hear and see and walk, and assure you that most of your questions will be answered in the orientation session beginning shortly.

Scenario C. You wake in a four-poster bed; a cartoon Jeeves greets you while opening the curtains, asks whether you’d like a bath, and says visitors are expected for lunch. It soon becomes apparent that this apparition knows literally nothing beyond its role as a valet.

Posted in futures | 3 Comments

QotD

I like daylight savings time because it ensures that, no matter how busy I am, I remember to curse FDR at least twice a year. —Travis Corcoran

Posted in politics | Leave a comment