If we persons of pallor are all descended from Charlemagne, we could still one-up each other on what fraction of our ancestry is royal, or how few of the links in the chain are female.
If a genie offered me three wishes, my third (after a godlike physique and knowledge of all human languages) might be for a genealogical database covering the last million years. It would be fun to find out, for example, who are my most distant living kin.
Human kin, that is, not prokaryotes.