unaccustomed lucidity

I have often had dreams of futility, which I take to be a sign of depression. For example: there are many scraps of paper on the floor, and I have to find a specific one, but I cannot read.

This morning I had a mild one. I had breakfast at an outdoor restaurant, chatted with the waiter, returned to where I parked my car; it was not there. I later found it a block away, but blocked in by a parked truck. I used my car key to unlock something that released a rope so that the truck (now a trailer) rolled down the street, bumping into another trailer which bumped a third before they all came to rest. But now my car had vanished. I thought, this is too absurd, I’m dreaming. I sat on a bench and said, when I open my eyes that brick building yonder will be something else. It did change but, before I could take in the new scene, something pulled my hair from behind; when I turned to see who or what, I woke up.

Being aware of dreaming, however briefly, is new to me, or quite rare.

Posted in me!me!me! | Leave a comment

David Bowie

Somehow I never had anything by David Bowie in my collection (other than a German version of “Heroes” on some sampler album, and “Under Pressure” on the Grosse Pointe Blank soundtrack) until recently when I picked up Best of Bowie (2002), which makes me wonder what the fuss is about. Perhaps he is celebrated for something other than music?

Okay, “Modern Love” is catchy.

Posted in music+verse | Leave a comment

Single White Female

A key scene in the above-titled flick cannot work unless the two leads have very similar breasts; and now I’m curious about the casting process.

Posted in cinema | 1 Comment

Bramble post Rocky

Rockstar, a cat of 13 years, died in August. Since then his brother Bramble has shown some changes. He seems to have put on weight, and vomits far less often, making me suspect that Rocky used to nudge him away from the food dish and thus Bramble ate too quickly.

Bramble has also become much more needy of attention, frequently getting between me and food or work.

Posted in pets | Leave a comment

ugh

I had two dreams of futility this morning, which could be a sign that the antidepressant that I’ve been taking since November is losing effectiveness.
Or possibly melatonin, that I recently started taking, disagrees with me.

Posted in bitterness | Leave a comment

sequences

A cartoon, in which Churchy LaFemme tries to imagine a skyscraper with no 13th floor, leads me to the idea of labeling the floors with some other familiar sequence; for example, Genesis, Exodus … but it might be hard to get occupants for suites on Lamentations. In Japan, the ground floor could be named for the era in which it is built (currently Reiwa), the next for the preceding (Heisei) and so on; an extremely high tower would boast of reaching Taika.
Posted in general | Leave a comment

Taylor series of integral of exponential of Fourier series

I have experimented with integrals of

exp(i·f(t))

where ”f(t)” is a polynomial. I express these integrals as Taylor series, which are not hard to generate. Now I’d like to try

f(t) = a·t + Σbk·sin(k·t)

and I have a horrid feeling that the Taylor series will be a nightmare!

Posted in curve-fitting | Leave a comment